The Happiness Project

Assalamualaikum.

Hehe, Hi.

I've abandoned this blog for what feels like a whole ERA, but of course, that's not true.
I won't say i've been THAT busy lately because that would count as a lie (and we dont want that).
i mean, i could work it into my schedule if i willed it hard enough but i found myself buried in books and my writing sooo.... well. I'M BACK.

So, since i've been so caught up in my reading-frenzy lately, this is going to be about some of the lessons i learnt from a book i read (well, technically i haven't finished it yet but it is so AWESOME).

The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin.

Well, basically this book is about Gretchen, the writer who goes on this journey of hers to find happiness and she calls it her Happiness Project. its not a self-help type of book. but it certainly does help.

One of the quotes from her book that i really love is 'The opposite of happiness is unhappiness, not depression'. 
Without happiness, we'd be empty, not sad.

Just because we are not depressed or sad, doesnt mean that we are happy. Even if we are happy, doesnt mean that we cant be happier.

We are all fortunate in our own ways.
Some have a tighter family bond than others.
Some have more money than others.
Some have better friends than others.
There are lots of 'better-than-others' that we have. Sometimes we fail to recognize it and be happy about it. Sometimes we know we have to be happy about something, but we just can't.
We all need happiness in our lives. It helps everything glide smoother.

it's simple things really. the small little details really do make a difference.
Make about 2 or 3 resolutions every month and stick with them. No cheating.

I'll give an example of mine for this month so you can get started on yours (if you want to).

1. Be Ami and Accept Ami.
This is simple, easy. I'm just going to be me and i wont be afraid to be me. This isn't really a new resolution. i've had it since FOREVER but i thought it would be nice to add something to the list that i had already accomplished just to boost my spirits haha (way to go Ami = =).

Example; people get teased. Even i get teased a lot. It happens. I remember in primary school i had these weird not-suitable-for-my-age hobbies. When i was 11, i went through this I-LOVE-TO-KNIT phase.

KNIT FREAKING KNIT. It's what grannies do in movies do on their rocking chairs. nobody teased me then. When i started to wear glasses (which by the way, were HUGE), i earned the nickname 'nenek' from this annoying kid. Knitting and Gigantic Glasses, the perfect Grandmother combination. And i got real disturbed by it. I felt so un-COOL (typical Ami haha.). So i stopped knitting and wearing my glasses. The nicknames didn't stop but i thought they would go away.
I had astigmatism so that wasn't such a good idea so i started wearing my glasses again. Finally, one day, after that annoying kid called me 'nenek' again, i didn't frown or turn away or yell at him. I DECIDED THERE AND THEN THAT I LOVE MY GLASSES AND KNITTING (IT WAS TOTALLY ME)

  I asked him "Why do you call me 'nenek'?"

"Because you're glasses are so big. they make you look like a nenek."

"Really? You think so? That is sooo cool. I like them even more now." i said that with my eyes widened and almost happy as if being a granny was such an acheivement.

And guess what, he stopped calling me 'nenek' because he figured it wasnt as annoying when i responded with thanks, rather than go away. So, i accepted myself then. My traumatic-lah-sangat experience is just a teeny weeny example. There are bigger examples but you work yourself through those, okay?
I learnt that confidence was COOL. If you think it's COOL, as much as others dont, ITS STILL COOL. If you accept yourself and who you are, you'll be much happier. Even though you're quirky and weird.


2. Act the way you want to feel.
In my case, it mostly involves getting work done. It doesnt matter, babysitting the kids or writing a few hours of paperwork. Most of the time, its energy-draining work. i get frustrated a lot and it ruins my mood. i want to enjoy everything, without feeling burdened. So, act the way you want to feel.

Example; the other day, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed and i wasn't feeling that well. You have younger brothers or sisters that go around the house, bugging you all day, making you run around the house fetching drinks and then once you've fetched them, throw a tantrum because they refuse to drink that one and want a different drink? or that kind of stuff. On a bad day, normally i'd just ignore them (bad sister = =) or do as they say but secretly feel mad at them. But keeping 'act the way you want to feel' in mind, i went about the house purposely laughing and singing while i was mixing milk formula (pretending to enjoy myself) and playing games and even getting them to start a painting project with me. It kicked in right away. I only had to pretend to be happy for a few minutes and i started to really enjoy myself, seriously.

Even when i was feeling a bit bummed after the MARA results came out, i pretended that it was okay. It was the thing i had waited for for so long and then like a fly-swatter, came and squished me (the fly). But i took a few breaths and smiled (yes, like a retard in front of the computer). And i convinced myself that it was no big deal, that i could be happy anywhere, not just in Ireland. And a few moments later, i felt COMPLETELY fine (just wondering where i went wrong with MARA interview). i felt slightly guilty for letting my parents down but otherwise, i was happy. haha

So, i only listed two. Dont want to plagiarize the book. Got to pray. Maghrib people, Maghrib.
Don't forget to pray. And if you can, start a Happiness Project, buy the book. Its really good, really. ^_^

PS: today i'm happy and not sarcastic. In the next post, i'll probably be happy AND sarcastic. Wait yah!!

Assalamualaikum.

*i didn't check for errors. please point out if spotted. thank you.