Making The Right Decisions.

 Assalamualaikum.

OMO, lama tak post apa-apa. Hehe. Jangan marah. *wink wink*

Just a quick update:

• i am currently in INTI international University, doing my A-levels. 
• I still don't have a driver's license (lame excuse to not going on the multiple trips to KLIA to say farewell. Sorry). 
• Learning Spanish. 
• Reading Spud by John Van De Ruit (which is so stupidly funny. haha).
• Enjoying the process of writing my fantasy novel (which, BTW, i don't plan on finishing anytime soon). 
• Did fairly bad in my Mathematics Mid-Term Test this morning (quote Mr Choo. "it's okay to make mistakes. Then you learn.").

Its SHOW TIME.

So recently i read a post somewhere on the internet (so typical of me to forget). It was about this guy writing about how he regretted his past decisions. 
And a month or so ago, a friend of mine asked me whether or not i regretted rejecting an offer i got to go to Whales in August (since i am now stuck in Malaysia with an annoying scholarship criteria to fulfill) which i explain here. It was one of those i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it (and never will want to talk about it) topics. Don't get me wrong, i still don't want to talk about it; but that's not going to stop me from doing so anyway. Everyone needs closure =), myself included. (So, where was i?).

Ah, yes.

Be like her.

When i explained to this friend of mine all the reasons that i made that decision, it dawned on me. And it made me accept my decision better. Before that conversation, I had spasms of regret whenever i congratulated a friend for landing a spot somewhere overseas. If you know me well, you would know that i am perfectly hopeless whenever it comes to hiding my emotions. If i'm happy, you'll be able to tell. And so it works for when i'm sad or annoyed or nervous or excited. Well the thing most people don't know about me is (oh great, i'm turning this into a let's-get-to-know-Ami-better post. Hurrah. = =) that i am actually not that bad at hiding my emotions, actually. The emotions that you see are just the ones that i don't bother to hide because they come from petty reasons (meaning, it's one of those i'm-sad-now-but-i'll-forget-about-it-in-two-seconds things. happy emotions; why bother hide them? Are you mad? haha).

only ocassionally haha

The emotions that I don't surface are the ones that inflict pain. The kind of 'memories' that just makes you close your eyes, breath heavy and swallow hard (as if the 'memory' would just magically disappear, huh?). The kind of memories you just laugh about and call it silly and joke about it just so you yourself might believe that it doesn't matter. The kind of memories you don't mention because it just makes you feel vulnerable and weak and stupid and sorry for yourself.

eg. This Whales thingy. It was the real deal and i rejected it because of my own mistake. "i could be in Whales by now." "i could be buying cheap books in Scotland." "I could be having a rich life there." "I could be developing more skills." and so on the thoughts cloud my head.
eg2. or perhaps you lost a valuable friend? It was your mistake that led you to such a position and now you aren't even talking to each other?

*it's magic, you know....*

The thing we don't realize, or what i failed to realize, is the silver lining to everything. We often forget about the bright side and only see the dark cloud. So, talk about it; talk about the benefits and consequences and it will make you feel better.

I am not going to tell you what is the right decision, what is the wrong one. That is not the question. Nobody knows what the right decision is. You just have to take your pick and work with what you have. 
Sorry to burst your bubble of Wonderland but that's how life is. 
Take your bet. Yeah, if you could go back and make that decision all over again, are you sure you won't make the same one?
So don't regret it (a waste of time). Learn from it.
And when you feel lost, rujuklah pada jalan Allah. Then, you can never go wrong. 

Hello, sunshine! Nice of you to drop by.

Just let go, okay. Let go. What's done is done and there's no changing it. Menyesal itu tak elok (except when you are repenting your sins. of course).

After you've re-thought your decision, decide once and for all, do you still support that decision? And stand by that decision. If you think it's the best for you, it is. So hang in there, the sun will shine through!!

Extra Knowledge:

Hukum Solat Semasa Azan Sedang Berkumandang.
-Based on these following links, Makruh. (correct me if i'm wrong, please. I don't want provide false information. i've got enough sins as it is).

http://qasolatjemaah.blogspot.com/

http://tanya-ustaz.27233.n3.nabble.com/solat-ketika-azan-td2911916.html

http://abuumair1.wordpress.com/soal-jawab/feqah-solat/05-012/

Urm. How to I end this? BYE.